If you are caring for someone with Alzheimer’s, you may have noticed a pattern that feels both touching and overwhelming: your loved one follows you everywhere. Whether you are cooking, folding laundry, or simply stepping into the next room, they might trail closely behind, anxious, unsettled, or unwilling to let you out of sight.
This behavior, known as shadowing, can be exhausting for caregivers and deeply emotional for families. But it is also a common part of the dementia journey, and understanding it is the first step to managing it with compassion.
What Is Shadowing in Alzheimer’s?
Shadowing refers to a behavior where a person with dementia sticks closely to their caregiver. They may follow from room to room, ask where you are repeatedly, or become distressed when left alone, even for a moment.
This behavior is not rooted in stubbornness. It is usually a sign of uncertainty or fear, caused by the brain’s declining ability to process the environment. In the absence of memory or reasoning, people often cling to the one thing they still recognize: you.
Why Does Shadowing Happen?
As Alzheimer’s progresses, a person’s sense of familiarity and independence begins to fade. Daily routines, names, and even the layout of their own home can start to feel foreign. Caregivers, especially those seen regularly, become anchors in a world that no longer makes sense.
So when you are not around, even briefly, the fear of being alone or getting lost becomes overwhelming. Shadowing, then, is not just about presence. It is about survival, a subconscious way of holding onto stability.
How to Gently Manage Shadowing Behavior
Though emotionally taxing, shadowing can often be eased with small adjustments. Here are several caregiver-tested strategies that may help:
1. Set Up Simple, Engaging Tasks
Distraction can offer relief. Light, hands-on activities often work well:
- Folding towels
- Matching socks
- Sorting coins or cards
- Looking through a photo book
These tasks give a sense of purpose and may hold attention just long enough for you to take a break.
2. Use a Visual Timer
Time can feel abstract to someone with memory loss. If you say, “I’ll be back in 10 minutes,” it might not register. Instead, try using a kitchen timer or sand timer. Let them hold it and say, “When this ends, I’ll be back.” This visual cue can provide reassurance.
3. Build Trust with Another Familiar Face
If possible, introduce a secondary companion slowly, a friend, family member, or caregiver who can become part of daily routines. Once trust builds, your loved one may feel less anxious when you are not around.
4. Record Your Presence
Some families find comfort in recording short videos of themselves, folding laundry, reading a book aloud, or offering a warm message. Playing these when you step away can soothe nerves and help bridge moments of separation.
5. Offer Items of Comfort
Sometimes, a physical item can hold meaning. A scarf with your scent, a framed photo, or even a worn-out sweater might offer a calming effect when separation is necessary.
6. Stick to Routines
People with dementia often respond best to consistency. Predictable schedules, familiar music, or eating meals at the same time daily can reduce overall anxiety and, by extension, shadowing.
7. Avoid Arguments
If your loved one becomes upset when you leave, avoid correcting or reasoning. Instead, acknowledge their feelings:
“I can see this is upsetting. I promise I will be right back.”
Then redirect: “How about we try that banana bread we made earlier?”
Caring for the Caregiver Matters, Too
Constant shadowing can leave even the most patient caregiver burned out. It is okay to feel overwhelmed. It is okay to want a moment alone. Support systems exist for this very reason.
Look into respite care, part-time caregiving support, or community resources. You do not have to carry it all on your own.
You Are Not Alone
If shadowing has become a daily challenge in your home, know that there is help. Our trained dementia care professionals understand the emotional weight of this journey. We offer personalized support, flexible schedules, and compassionate care that puts both you and your loved one at ease.
Looking for compassionate, professional staffing support for your senior living facility or family home? Divine Favour Healthcare Staffing Inc. is here to explore how we can support your care needs, where care feels like family.
Reach us today at 647-766-5394 or visit www.divinefavourhomecare.ca to explore how we can support your family and give you back those small but vital moments of peace. To learn more about our services in Toronto, the GTA, Niagara Falls, Niagara Region, Niagara on the Lake, St.Catharines, Ottawa, Kitchener-Waterloo, Markham, and Richmond Hill, Ontario.